Muse you can Use

Sometimes just breathing is enough.

2006-03-19T23:07:00.000-05:00

So lately, I've been contemplating my life in general, and specifically my marriage. It should come as little surprise to anyone who knows me that my marriage is 3rd rate at best, cloudy with a chance of sun...generally comparable to that first end-of-summer day when you feel the chill of fall in the air. And yeah, while I do enjoy fall, I'm NEVER ready for summer to end, and I find the transition extremely depressing.

Dan has it in him to be a good person. He can be very sweet and loving. Unfortunately, this segment of him is eclipsed for me by the cruel, heartless bastard he can also be. Sometimes, even when he's being nice (or if not nice, at least neutral) it's extremely difficult for me not to think back to his not-nice moments and resent the hell out of him. There are times (fewer and further between these days) when I am still enraptured by him, but for the most part I find myself silently seething in his general direction. Any offhanded comment he makes can cause me to go into full-on hate mode. When I'm hating him in my head and he hasn't done anything concretely wrong at that moment, I say he's irking me because "he's breathing my air." And sometimes just breathing is enough.

I don't see divorce looming in the immediate future, but there is a part of me that wonders how much more of my life I should be wasting here.

And in breaking news, the cat just deposited half of a mouse at my feet. Good kitty. Gag.

I was made to be a SAHM.

2006-02-15T07:00:00.000-05:00

That's "stay at home mom" for those of you not up on your acronyms.

I haven't been to work since Friday... the kids were sick on Monday and getting better yesterday, so we've been home. Let me just say...I haven't missed it one bit. I like being home. It felt good to actually have the energy to clean the house instead of doing a half-assed job after I've already worked 8 or 9 hours. I cooked nice dinners too...no frozen chicken nuggets!

Unfortunately, as a friend of mine is wont to say, I married for love instead of money, and my paycheck is essential for the little things like paying the gas bill and keeping insurance. So today, it's back to the old grind. Can you sense my enthusiasm? Yeah...me neither.

My twelfth anniversary...

2006-02-11T11:08:00.000-05:00

So what's up, cats and kittens? I see at least ONE person still checks up on me...bless you, Cristie!

Today happens to be Emily's twelfth birthday...my twelfth anniversary of being a mom! (weep weep weep.) She's in a good mood today, which is a nice break from the pre-teen angst we've been dealing with. It's a difficult stretch, lately, and I've been losing myself in looking at pictures of her when she was a wee little lamb who didn't talk back or give me heaping servings of attitude. Pictures such as this one....look how sweet in her frilly little Easter dress, holding her bear, her hair in pigtails. Sometimes (ok, ok, lots of times) I wish we could return to this time. She was just so agreeable, and agreeable is not an adjective I use much to describe her these days.

Anyway, today, her birthday party consists of us going to the mall to let her shop. (Last week, she was irate that I wouldn't just drop her off with some money!!) After that, we'll be going out to dinner. Vote now as to whether I should tell the server it's her birthday and embarass the hell out of her!

Is this thing on?

2006-02-07T22:07:00.000-05:00

If a blogger posts after 6 months of inactivity, does anyone read it? What is the sound of one hand typing? Do I even have anything semi-witty to say?

We shall see, my dears...we shall see.

Sadly, when you're 35, you can go 6 months and honestly say "Not much has changed with me, nothing new going on..." and it's actually true. In my case, the one major event was the passing of my grandma in December.

My gram was more like a mom to me. I moved in with her and my gramps permanently when I was 15, after several bouts of staying with her for a few weeks or months at a time. She was so awesome, a real bright spot in my life. Her manner of controling my actions by always just assuming that I would exhibit good behavior led me to really turn myself around, you know? I never wanted to disappoint her.

So anyway, I've had these past two months to get over the shock of her passing away, and I've been helping my gramp go through a ton of stuff at the house. I'm now the proud owner of all my high school yearbooks, TONS of pictures of me with bad 80s hair and clothes (stirrup pants, anyone?), and a bunch of Emily's baby clothes I had left there, as well as some more REALLY WEIRD stuff to put in my house. Alas, my digital camera is still waiting to be repaired, so you'll have to wait on some pics. I mean, you'll have to wait...if you're out there...reading this.

fun link of the day:

http://www.gofugyourself.com

Scott Blake - Bar Code Art

2005-08-18T20:34:00.000-04:00

Scott Blake - Bar Code Art

OK, this is the coolest site I've seen in a good long time. Scott Blake is an artist who creates portraits and other artwork using barcodes. All kinds of keen stuff on his site. I'm gonna go ahead and pledge my allegiance to this particular part, though. Answer the questions to view yourself as a barcode. We'll skip all the hoohah about the intriguing commentary on our society (though, certainly, there's an intriguing commentary on our society) and just enjoy it for its newness and neatness.

An added bonus: You can get your very own postcard to have and to hold. (http://www.barcodeart.com/artist/artist.html)

Guess who I chose?

Feeling uninspired

2005-08-16T19:07:00.000-04:00

So...my grandparents have been renting the same cabin in the Adirondacks (Upstate NY) every summer for the past 20 years. I told them a while back that I'd love to make a little album of some of their pics from those trips. Apparently, they liked the album idea, but decided to take a different approach. Instead of bringing me a few pics of their trips over the years, they decided they'd like to have an album of the trip they took 16 years ago. That summer, they bought a dinky pull-behind trailer and travelled all across the country.

Recently, they brought me a suitcase full of pics, along with my grandpa's travel diary. There are some neat pictures, but let's just admit that some areas of the country are going to be a little more interesting than others. Right now, I'm in the North Dakota, not-s0-interesting part of the country. I am totally uninspired by these pictures and it shows in my pages. There's only so much you can do with landscape scenes of the Badlands, you know? Hopefully, as we move west across the Rockys and towards the west coast, I'll be a little more inspired and able to crank out some neat pages.

In unrelated news, I overslept and got to work half an hour late today and left 45 minutes early. Nobody said a damn thing. Life isn't all that bad!

They only LOOK sweet.

2005-08-16T00:50:00.000-04:00

Funny how kids can totally prove the "appearances are deceiving" cliche better than anything else known to man.

Observe the siblings at right. They appear to love one another with a deep, abiding affection born and bred into them, no? Yeah, well no.

Tonight, the 11 year old decided that it just wasn't fair that the 4 year old got to sleep on the loveseat while she had to sleep in her bed. While she was having the whinefest about it, the 4 year old, being 4, decided he'd try to explain the whys and wherefores. The conversation, at least what I was unable to block out, is below:

Liam (climbing on to loveseat on top of Emily's stuff): "Emily, you have to get up because I'm having the loveseat tonight."
Emily: "Shut up, brat, you always get your way!"
Liam: "You shut up!"
Emily: "No, you!"
Mom: "WHY DON'T BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!"

At this point, Emily decided it was time for her dramatic exit stage left and yanked her blanket out from under Liam. He in turn was catapulted up over the back of the loveseat, where he bumped into the stand holding the fishtank, causing about 2 gallons of smelly fishwater to slop onto him and the carpet. Emily was smart and ran. I seriously need to buy stock in Febreeze.

Editor's note: As a trained professional and somewhat progressive mom, I am well aware that leading experts recommend against using terms such as "Shut up" around or to children. All I can say is, Bite me. Sometimes the temper gives.

Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

2005-08-14T20:52:00.000-04:00

So, longish story short, I was raised Baptist but converted to Catholicism when I was 18. I haven't been to church since my college years, due to that inertia problem I've discussed previously. But the last couple of years, I've been thinking that it wouldn't be the worst thing I could do to start going to Mass again. And now, to finally tip the scales in that direction, Emily will be attending a Catholic school this year. And yeah, parish members get a good discount. I almost forgot that part.

And that is how I found myself meeting with the Monsignor on Friday morning. We started out with my conversion. Brownie points there. Things turned sour, though, when I said "Well, no...my husband isn't Catholic. And no, he's not going to convert. Well, yes, he was previously married." D'oh! Apparently by marrying a heathen divorcee, I've shut myself off from the Sacraments! (I felt like I was meeting with the Communion Nazi: "NO HOST FOR YOU!") Surprisingly, Father did not change his mind when I brought up the interesting coincidence that his nephew happens to be married to my husband's ex-wife! "Isn't it a small world, Father?" I said. ) Also, I am to be disdained for never having had either of the kids baptised, not to mention the fact that Emily is about 4 years late for her First Holy Communion. Father recommends that I explore the possiblilty of Dan and his first wife getting their marriage annulled so that I can have our marriage blessed by the church. Somehow, this seems like a little more trouble than it's worth for a tuition discount, so I nod agreeably and say that we'll discuss it. Also, there'll be the matter of baptism classes to take for both the kids. And godparents to procure. (Marcy? Cristie? Little help here?) But 3 months from now, provided my little envelope with my name on it shows up in the collection plate each week to show that I am generous in my repayment of God's blessings, I'll be paying a lot less for schooling.

And plus there's the added benefit of feeling closer to God and all that jazz too. Shouldn't forget that part!

The best picture of the whole entire summer

2005-08-09T23:17:00.000-04:00

What you are about to see will shock, dismay, and even amaze you. It can be viewed alone, as its own piece of art, but it's so much better when accompanied by its backstory.

As I mentioned previously, this year's family vacation took us to the exotic Grand Island (NY) Holiday Inn Conference Center. In all seriousness, it was a very nice hotel right on the river, with a pretty view and 2 great pools. The absolute best part though, was the sheer horror of seeing a cliche come to vivid life right before my very eyes. While we basked at the pool one afternoon, a very elderly man made an appearance. He was wearing...and I shit you not....a pink flowered speedo. I wish, dear readers, that I had been astute enough to capture a photo from the front, but alas! I did not. The best I could do was to wait until he fell asleep on his lounge chair, then sneak up, position my kids near him so that it would appear I was taking their photo, and then grab the shot. Guerrilla style, as it were. The horrific result is below. Feast your eyes on this! (If you dare!)

Until next time!

Curses! Foiled again!

2005-08-08T21:05:00.000-04:00

So today, I got a cool scrappy (or rather stampy) catalog in the mail from my friend Mirandy. It has all kinds of goodies. While looking through it, I was consumed with a desire to scrap something, to create a cool page! Then I got up and looked at the mess that I call a scrapbook area and I was just overwhelmed. I would have had to spend an hour cleaning up before I could even think about starting a page. Then it all just seemed like work....and who wants to work when you've already put in your 8 hour day plus maybe cleaned something and cooked a decent dinner? Not me. It was so much easier just to sit down and do nothing.

Today is our 7th wedding anniversary...can you hear the fanfare when I say that? No?? Me neither. Things are cool, no active fights lately. It's just that he bothers me when he breathes my air. Is that so wrong??

I guess I should end on a laughable note, so I'll relate a funny thing that Liam said the other day. We were at the beach and I was fussing at him for one thing or another. He turned around and said "You know, I'm over here having a good time, and then SUDDENLY, I don't LIKE you!" Ever have one of those parenting moments where you have to turn away to keep them from seeing that you're laughing your ass off when you're trying to be serious? That was one of those moments.

Today makes 2 days of posts in a row, folks! Will she go for the threepeat? Tune in tomorrow to find out this and much, much more.

Don't be mad!

2005-08-07T09:58:00.000-04:00

Ok...I know. I'm a horrible person for not having updated my blog in so damn long. What can I say, except to remind you all that things fall apart; the center does not hold. I have missed writing to an extent. One of the things I dislike about myself is that I find it so easy to let inertia take hold. Working on that's gotta go on my "To-Do List."

That being said, howsabout an update?

It's been a good summer here in the great Northwestern corner of my state. Last summer was full of rain and cool temps, but this summer has been beautiful. We've made several beach trips, which is always a good thing. (We live within 10 minutes of 7 miles of beautiful sandy beaches on Lake Erie, but there are summers when we're lucky to take advantage twice. Shameful.)

Our family vacation took us to Niagara Falls and Buffalo NY for a few days. Thinking about the Buffalo Zoo? Let me offer one word of advice: Don't. That place was pitiful! Our zoo here in Erie is nice, but kind of small. The Pittsburgh and Cleveland zoos are amazing, so I was figuring that in a city like Buffalo, they'd have a nice zoo. Wrong. Sooo old, so small, and seemingly neglected. It took us all of 2 hours to see the whole thing. We stayed in a great hotel on Grand Island, though, and the trip to the Falls was awesome. The best part of the trip? Definitely the Butterfly Conservatory in Niagara Falls, Ontario. Picture this huge tropical greenhouse, with butterflies flying all around you. It was amazing.

We've also been camping. Twice. In a tent. My back is still recovering, but the kids and the husband had fun.

On the crafty front, I did get some excellent news recently...I'm going to be published! I'll have a project in the new Joann Essentials idea book. Not sure when it's coming out yet, probably in the spring. I'll try to post an update before then.

Anyway...baby steps, till I get back in the swing. Thanks, to those of you who cared enough to hound me to update!

It sickens me....yet I can't look away.

2005-06-13T23:46:00.000-04:00

Subservient Chicken

Oh. My. God.

Some of you may have seen this before...but if not, clicky the linkey and watch out. This thing is funny/sick/crazy/disturbing/hilarious all at once. Let me know what you think!

On a bright and cheery note....

2005-06-12T22:23:00.000-04:00

The Death Clock - When Am I Going To Die?

Check out the Death Clock! OoooOOOOOooooo.....spooky! You plug in a few particulars about yourself, click a button, and there ya go: Tells you how many seconds you have left to live. I found myself transfixed for several minutes.

Enjoy!

PS...don't go looking for me after 2064....according to the Death Clock I won't be around.

The pressure of being a pseudo-cool geek

2005-06-08T23:25:00.000-04:00

Here's something queer....I'll be going about my regular business during the day and this thought will pop into my head:

"Geez, I need to update my blog."

I am so lame that I feel GUILTY for not updating my blog! Gag! I'm one of those technocrats! (Well, not hardly, but it's a funny word.)

Work has been a sheer HELL the past week and it will only get worse until July 1st. I work for a company that consolidates federal student loans and the rates are going up on July 1st so we are trying to get everything possible completed before that. I hate to wish my summer away, but come on, July!! I'm working just about 50 hour weeks till then. Eeek.

The only thing I can think of to discuss this evening is my horrible problem of getting the weirdest songs stuck in my head. Today, for about the last 2 hours of work, I was singing "Electric Avenue" by Eddie Grant. ("Good God, we gonna rock down to Electric Avenue...and then we take it higher!" ) Stop me, Lord....next thing you know, it'll be Adam Ant's "Goody Two Shoes."

On the bright side, tomorrow is Thursday...only 2 more days this week!

What a great day!

2005-06-05T18:04:00.000-04:00

Beautiful day here in the great northwest (ern corner of Pennsylvania). Sunny and the temp got up to about 85. We took a ride this morning to a big flea market over in Ohio. (This Weird Stuff in my house doesn't just walk in on its own, you know.) We didn't find anything weird except some illegal fireworks. So those will be fun...until someone loses an eye, anyway. After walking around a drive in in the baking sun, we hit a Steak-n-Shake for lunch. Strawberry Hot Fudge Cheescake milkshake, baby.

All this action was about an hour or so from home, so we were ready for some water! Since Dan is "urgency-challenged" (my PC way of calling him a slack-ass) the pool isn't up yet. We got out the sprinkler instead...and I even had to let the kid in me come out and play. The kiddos got a kick out of it, anyway.

Hope you're all having the best day possible. These little things are fun.

2005-06-05T17:56:00.000-04:00

Thirsty?

2005-06-05T17:55:00.000-04:00

Emily...no, that's not a real tattoo. Not yet anyway.

2005-06-05T17:54:00.000-04:00

And Mom gets in on the action as well!

Gettin' all misty here.....and a little melancholy too.

2005-06-03T19:28:00.000-04:00

I was poking around in the attic this evening and stumbled across a box Dan had saved. It was full of letters I wrote to him the year we were dating. I lived in Virginia and he lived in PA at the time. I sat on the floor up there and read several of them. It was sweet...and a little not so sweet as well. They were full of all the regular musings and endearments you'd find in your typical love letter, and it was nice to read them. But they also made me feel kind of sad and bemused. Was I ever this "in love" with someone who now often feels like a roommate? How naive I was! It was silly and cute but it also made me miss feeling that way.

The freaks come out at night....

2005-06-01T22:52:00.000-04:00

Ok, at least a couple of you who read my blog aren't scrapbookers, so let me give you a little background. My wonderful friend Marcella holds monthly "crops" for us. (That's a little kind of party where we all bring our scrapbook stuff and work on it. Just a get-together.) Marcy also has a Yahoo group where we can all keep in touch online. So tonight, someone who wants to come to the next crop posted the following. (And I swear to GOD I am not making it up.)

i got a question my mother has a baby capuchin monkey, it sleeps most the time but i am babysitting it thursday before the scrap for 10 days. I was wondering if anyone would mind it coming along if not i can get the sitter to watch it.

Ummmmmmm ok. NO YOU MAY NOT BRING A GOD DAMN MONKEY TO A CROP!!! That's what I would have replied. Luckily, Marcy is much more diplomatic and gave a gentle reminder that animals aren't allowed where we hold the crop. Sheesh!! What next!!

And PS, no, don't bring any kids either! I left mine at home and I don't want to see or hear yours either!

Lite-Brite, Lite-Brite....

2005-05-31T23:28:00.000-04:00

Lite-Brite

What a cool way to kill a few minutes! Why, the possibilities are endless....check out my first effort below!

2005-05-31T23:27:00.000-04:00

Turn on the magic of shining lights

SockMonkey Heaven

2005-05-30T11:30:00.000-04:00

SockMonkey

Oh. Mah. Gawh! Don't clickie the linkie with young kiddos around....but this is one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen in my life! If you know me at all, you know I have a sick fascination with sock monkeys among other things. They sicken me, yet I can't look away! They are one of the many so-called "toys" (along with clowns, venrtriloquist dummies, and marionettes) that will come alive and kill you in the night. See what they do when we're not looking??

Ok, so today we're off to see some sights (Michael's has a 50% off coupon don'tcha know) and maybe take a little ride to a couple of flea markets or something...no big family picnics here, so it's just us. Hope you all have a good day!

Everybody's workin' for the weekend....

2005-05-27T19:56:00.000-04:00

Well, at least I am. And I mean literally....working for the whole weekend. Saturday is my scheduled day off, but I'm walking on to make up Tuesday's missed time. Then Sunday is my regular day to work. Of course after this, I'll be off Monday...then work Tuesday, then I took Wednesday off for Liam's "preschool graduation" (should be really cute!) . I work Thursday and then have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off. Woo hoo for me...a nice short week! I need a break.

Anyone out there know anything about telescopes? My gram gave us this big old (mid 1980s) telescope. It's the Tasco Lunagrosso Reflector Telescope, Model 11TR. Yeah. The instructions have a diagram of all the parts but don't explain how to put them together or what you need to do to see out of the thing. Of course, Dan's all in a tizzy. SUCH a freak, that one, when he can't figure something out. Reminds me of a panther in a cage, just pacing back and forth. He'll just keep poking and prodding at it. Unable to accept that I can call the 800 number on Tuesday to inquire about instructions for it...glad I'm working as it would be tedious being around him.

In "Holy Shit, what am I going to do now?" news, I got a suitcase full of pictures from my grandparents tonight. The backstory is that in 1989, when my grandpa retired, they bought a little pop-up trailer and drove all around the country for the whole summer. A couple of months ago, I mentioned that it would be fun to do a little scrapbook of some stuff from that trip. Ummm yeah. A SUITCASE full of pictures in envelopes, with writing on the back of the pics. ("Bryce Canyon, Aug 15 1989."). Plus my grandfather's handwritten journal of events from the trip. Too cool; here's an actual entry:

Mon Jul 3rd.

Left Spokane KOA ab't 7:00AM. Drove 325 miles to Jean's. Got in ab't 7:30pm. Crossed over Cascade Mt'n Range. Hitch held up ok. Jim blocked up trailer very level on a very uneven driveway.

and another:

Fri Jul 21st:

Up at 6:30. Left for Yosemite ab't 8:00. Breakfast at Yosemite Portal Restaurant. Fantastic Park. Lots of high-peak driving. Saw the important points in one day. Very crowded. Lots of foreigners. Called Michele from top of Mountain at Glacier Point. She wasn't home. Talked to Tim and Danny. Ate at same restaurant. Fish and chips. Home at 10:00 pm.

Now this is going to be fun...but it's a tad bit overwhelming! So much to do and I'm not at all sure how to organize what they have given me. Hopefully I'll find stuff written on most of the pics and can put them in order according to the diary entries. I know what I'll be working on at the next few crops!

oops

2005-05-24T21:01:00.000-04:00

This thing was being all wacky on me so the previous post was listed thrice. Live and learn...when you "publish post" and it tells you "An error has occurred"... it's lying.

A day off is a two-headed beast.

2005-05-24T20:58:00.000-04:00

Stayed home today with Pinky, and I'm so bummed.

Don't get me wrong, I love staying home from work, especially when the kids aren't so sick that they require all of my attention. Today was cool....Liam couldn't attend school because technically he's still contagious until he's been on the meds for 24 hours, but he wasn't really sick. We played, I cleaned a little, watched some bad tv, did a little scrappy stuff. It was so cool.

The problem is, whenever I stay home on a work day, it sucks so much ass to have to go back the next day. I so wish I could be a SAHM. Technically I could if we wanted to live like paupers and not have any internet or cable or scrappy supplies or dinners out. And honestly, what kind of life would that be, right? So it's off to work I go tomorrow.

Maybe I should start some kind of a donations site. Hmmmmmm.

In the pink

2005-05-23T18:40:00.000-04:00

Pinkeye that is. **shudder**

I was at work today when the nurse from Emily's school called around 11:15. She had a stomach ache and headache. She's old enough to stay alone for a few hours so I planned to go get her and bring her home then head back to work. Well, while I was waiting for the management trainee I work with to get back from break, Liam's school called. "We think he may have pinkeye," they said. Great. So, of course being 4 he's not quite old enough to stay by himself...meaning I had to leave work for the day. Took him to the doctor and yes, it is in fact pinkeye. The best part? Today is May 23rd. The kids' health insurance is starting effective JUNE 1st! So I got to pay for one last office visit and a flipping $65 bottle of eye drops out of pocket! That's what they call the icing on the cake, I think.

So I'll be off tomorrow too, apparently. Good thing, since I still have this silly idea in my head that I'll get these stupid clipboards done by Friday for Liam's teachers. Hey a little work beats shelling out cash for gift certificates.

Girls gone wild

2005-05-22T19:00:00.000-04:00

Let me just tell you....

If I lived in a larger city that actually had more than one scrapbook store as well as sizeable chain stores, I'd be in some serious trouble. I spent soooooo much money yesterday. I haven't totalled it (nor will I) but let's just say I spent over my budget. Looks like PB & J sandwiches are on my lunch menu at work...no eating out this week! But oh how much fun! I envy those of you who actually get to see new things in person before buying. Personally I have to get so much online and never get to see it up close before I buy. That was one of the nice things yesterday.

Also, those of you who have a Joann's Supercenter near you are on my "To Envy" list. That place made me have a storegasm. I was thinking....sometimes, J's has these sales where they'll put all the Joann Essentials SB Embellishments on 50% off, and have 50% off all clearance. I'm thinking a sale like that will warrent a trip down there next time. It's only an hour and a half away...that's an acceptable distance to drive for a good sale, isn't it?

Ok, now I'm off to the huge task of putting things away. Wish me luck!

Got the Fevah

2005-05-19T19:52:00.000-04:00

I'm going shopping, I'm going shopping!!

Cannot WAIT until Saturday! It will be so cool to get to go to some new (new to me anyway) scrapbook shops. I've used some creative accounting practices on the old budget to free up some shopping money and we'll be headed to the Pittsburgh area to get jiggy with it. I'm excited to see Hedder, Amanda, Lynette, Traci, and of course Anna as well....but would it be wrong of me to say that even if every single one of them cancelled I'd still go? This train is leaving the station no matter what.

In other news, a major crisis was averted earlier this evening. Brace yourselves as I describe the horror. (If you get scared, remember that I am promising a happy ending.) Ready? Sitting down? Ok then...

The cable remote stopped working for a few minutes! GASP!

You could have looked at my hubby and thought he was some kind of heroin addict who couldn't find his stash. He was pressing the buttons and nothing was happening. He changed the remote batteries not once, but twice...it didn't help! He turned the box off...then on....then off and on again...NOTHING! It was almost time for the great freakout. Then he decided to unplug it for a minute and when he did and it had to reload everything, all of a sudden the remote worked fine. What do you know? Of course, it could also be fixed due to the fact that while he was panicking I jumped online and paid the overdue bill. But that's not important, is it? The important thing is that it's working!

OK....brace yourselves. NOT PC.

2005-05-18T20:12:00.000-04:00

Totally NOT politically correct, and not especially sensitive either. But I've been thinking about this outrage over the possibility of soldiers desecrating the Koran. Newsweek has issued a retraction of the claim that Korans were flushed down toilets, but you know that won't do any good.

Here's what I think: WHO CARES? GOOD!! I HOPE THEY DID! Someone supposedly flushes a Koran down a toilet and the fanatics of Islam (**NOTE: I know that all Moslems are not fanatical, I'm speaking here only of those who are**) are rioting and shouting Death To America. Somehow, the desecration of a book, or even if you want to think of it in extreme terms, religious intimidation, is this huge crime. These same people condoned the killing of thousands in the terror attacks. Yet somehow, Americans are to be looked on as the bad guys for trashing a book. It makes absolutely no sense. I for one don't see what the big crime is. Like these fanatics wouldn't spit on a Bible....

In more lighthearted news, let me give a shout out to the Dark Side Crew. It's so much fun to have fun over at a certain url again, ladies. Y'all are wicked. Wicked I say!

I swear I almost peed my pants

2005-05-16T21:35:00.000-04:00

Some of you have heard this story already, but for those of you who haven't, I'll share.

At the place where we have our monthly crops, they host wedding receptions. As you go up the stairs, there's a sign where they post the name of the wedding party. When we went last Friday, the sign said

"Welcome Dachtyl"

Kelly and I felt it could use a little embellishment....so we put some letter stickers to good use. At least I make myself laugh!

2005-05-16T21:31:00.000-04:00

Did I mention I slay myself?

Don't be mad!

2005-05-15T09:34:00.000-04:00

Ok Ok, I apologise! I wasn't feeling particularly inspired yesterday, so I took the day off from my blog. That little stunt earned me 4 pm's at SG and an email! I get it, I get it! My bad.

So about that previous post...the monkey. Here he is. He's supposed to be a soap dish, I think, but he's too hideous to hide in the bathroom. He sits on top of the infotainment center and holds change and keys. Thursday night, it occurred to me that I had absolutely no cash whatsoever. Seriously...I had spent all my change in my purse for lunch that day myself. On Thursday night, I stole the rest of the money from the monkey for Em's lunch the next day...only to have Dan come to me and ask for money for Friday's bus fare. Um...ok. Hence the statement "Emily, get your lunch money and put it in the monkey!"

As for the prize for the most creative post, I have to give it to the Glitter Queen! I'll find something sparkley to send you, P.!

And it's Sunday...not a funday. I work this afternoon (bah). If I wasn't the only supervisor on Sundays, I'd call in sick! Hope you all have a wonderful day.

The most white-trash sentence I've ever uttered. Seriously.

2005-05-12T22:14:00.000-04:00

"Emily, go get your lunch money and give it to Dad so he'll have bus fare in the morning, and put it in the monkey!"

Ok here's the deal. I ACTUALLY uttered this sentence earlier this evening. I had a very good reason why at the time. But I thought we'd have a little fun with this....kind of a "reader-participation thread", if you will.

What I'd like you to do is post what you THINK would make me say such a thing. Be creative....there'll be a RAK involved for the one that makes me laugh the most!

I'll post the actual answer late tomorrow evening....can you stand the excitement??

PS...Marcy and Kelly, no fair spilling the beans!

It was horrible....hold me!

2005-05-11T22:21:00.000-04:00

Apparently, my blog has been down all day! I got home around 5:30 and tried to log on and got only this blank white screen. So I 've been messing with it off and on this evening. At first I couldn't even view the dashboard, but then I could, so I finally tried the republish index only feature, and voila! (or "wahlah", as I've seen some of the more erudite members of a certain online community say.) So anyway, it's good to be back. What a queermo I am for being all bummed out that my precious little blog was gone! Sigh!

Tonight I got a screaming drunken phone call from Nene. Ok, so let me clarify...she was neither screaming nor drunk. However, MaggieHo and Deedree were both a couple of incoherent freaks. Reminded me of my good ol' college days. I've only been to Florida once, when I was 17 and my dad was living in Daytona Beach. I only went to visit for like a week, between Christmas and New Years and I didn't like it much...but if anyone could make me want to try again to like it, it would be these three. D doesn't know it yet, but we're planning a trip to Ohio that she'll be attending.

Thanks to those of you who were also bummed that The Muse was missing today. You guys really now how to make a gal feel good!

PS, I wanted to give a shout out to the prettiest princess in the whole world. Hi, Pimp! How's it going? If you read this, thanks for the daily laughs, my friend!

9 reasons I need to win the lottery:

2005-05-10T23:00:00.000-04:00

1. So I can stop working! There's a lady at my work who doesn't HAVE to work. She doesn't have kids yet (not sure if she plans to have them or not) and her hubby makes BIG bucks...she has told me more than once that she just works to get out of the house, and because it gives her some "play money" that she doesn't have to be accountable to her dh for. Yeah....HATE her!
2. So I can buy all the scrappy supplies I could ever want. Um yeah, okay...so I still have piles of crap I haven't even opened yet. There's always room for Jello.
3. So I can drive a big obnoxious SUV and damn the rising gas prices!
4. So I can get a fabulous house...doesn't have to be somewhere exotic...Erie will be fine. Just in a ritzy neighborhood.
5. So I can donate to charity. I always feel bad that I don't have more money to give. Yeah, yeah, I know I could donate my time. It's just that I care, but not THAT much.
6. So I can buy a fancy motorhome and hire someone (I'm not driving that big boat!) to drive me around the country to all the weirdest roadside attractions.
7. So I can get that boob lift I've been needing since Liam was weaned. I don't want implants...just a little tighten-up.
8. So I can pay for my kids to attend college. Em's in 5th grade and I'm already on her ass about keeping her grades up so she can get a scholarship.
9. So I can hire someone witty to write my blog for me

They call him Flipper, Flipper....

2005-05-09T21:23:00.000-04:00

faster than lightning....

So this is the last of Liam's Mother's Day presents from school. Isn't it so hideous it's precious?!? I mean look at his foot....it totally looks like a flipper, doesn't it? If you look close, you can probably tell that his foot is actually of a normal width but the paint didn't get everywhere it was supposed to lol. This will be something fun to look at years from now!

Happy Mutha's Day

2005-05-08T10:56:00.000-04:00

Here's a picture Liam drew of me for Mother's Day....attached to it was a little list of questions his teachers helped him fill in at school. Want to know everything about me that never was? Read on. (His answers to the questions are in blue.

My mom has black hair and brown and white eyes. She is 30 feet tall and weighs 10 pounds. My mom likes to go to work to get money to buy toys for me. My mom is happy when I am not being bad. My mom's favorite TV show is football. My mom is very smart. She knows all about me. My mom likes to eat peanut butter and jelly. It really bugs my mom when I keep talking to her 100 times. If my mom could have one wish come true, it would be to climb a tree. My mom is special because she always gives me food when I am hungry.

Hope all of you are having a happy Mother's Day!

She's just not that into you.

2005-05-07T19:40:00.000-04:00

And in this sentence, the "she" is me, and the "you" is SG. They're having challenge upon challenge over there...and I just can't get into it. I'm sure it's not them, it's me. I just don't have much enthusiasm for it (or really much else) right now.

Dan and I got into a fight last night...not a big deal, just a stupid argument. But sometimes when he gets angry, he fights so dirty and says really mean things in such a tone that I'm left bemused. It's like "Dude...forget loving me, do you even LIKE me?" As much as I try, I secretly think that someday...who knows whether it will be sooner or later...we'll end up divorced. Sometimes I'm horrifed by that thought. Other times...not so much.

In case you didn't notice, our sweet little friend has somehow allocated the mental resources to come up with yet another screen name. (See the comments of the previous thread.) Cute! It's my nature never to delete stupid comments like that...leaving them there lets others see how immature and silly the poster is. Emjoy!

Power to the people, yo.

2005-05-06T01:03:00.000-04:00

If you catch me over at SG, you may notice that the rake lady is on a brief hiatus. I decided the ghost would be a pointed reference to my distaste over the treatment afforded to one who has given so much...our beloved Deirdra. Nice to see some of the sistahs follow suit too.

Now at this point you may be saying to yourself, "Wow, it's after 1am eastern time, and if I recall, Amy has to work in the morning. What the hell is she doing up at this ungodly hour?" Well, Amy has this weird quirk. If I am awakened deep in the night, I'm usually okay and can get back to sleep...but if I'm awakened one to two hours after I go to bed, I'm screwed. Insomnia City, and I don't get back to sleep until 3 or 4 am sometimes. That makes getting up at 6:30 soooo much fun! Hope those of you who need to be are slumbering peacefully!

35 is hurtling right at me, like an asteroid that will destroy the earth.

2005-05-05T06:59:00.000-04:00

More later...but this is the thought that woke me up this morning. Sigh.

Work is for Suckas.

2005-05-04T21:40:00.000-04:00

Can I just say, in some sort of code so I don't get myself in trouble, that if I could become a sahm tomorrow I would do it in an instant. Yeah, yeah, both kids are in school already. That's not the point. I don't want to stay home to be with them 24-7. It's much more about not wanting to have to drag myself to work every day than it is about some altruistic motive. Nice, huh?

Also, I am totally on Rake Patrol right now. Let me tell you how dead my doctor is to me. Seriously, I am finding a new provider because I will be damned if this asshole is getting one more cent of my money.

Em and I both went in yesterday with the same symptoms. (Tonsilitis or strep throat, I wouldn't know since he didn't do a throat culture.) I have insurance, but don't have any for the kids until after June 1st. He saw us both at the same time...examined her first, then me. He was getting ready to write out scripts and I asked if he had any samples. He said no, he doesn't believe in taking samples from the drug companies because it causes bias. Yeah ok. Ass. So anyway, I reminded him that I don't have insurance for Em right now and could he prescribe something on the less expensive end of the spectrum. I mean, why pay like $80-something for Augmentin when a $15 dose of something else will do the job. He proceeded to give me a lecture on how I may have to make a choice between what is best for my daughter and my checkbook! OMG! At this point, I kept it under control but I did tell him that of course I would do what was needed, but see above...why do something expensive if something cheaper will work. So he then goes on about how if she needs anything for cough, I can give her Robitussin, but it's okay to buy the generic as that's only $2 instead of $6. At this point, I went off. I advised him that I was not destitute...I was not at the local free clinic and could certainly afford whatever kind of cough syrup I might need to get. I also advised that not having insurance did not make me stupid. With that, I took the prescriptions and walked out. I was so livid! Aargh!

I suppose after subjecting you to a rant like that, I should probably try to leave you on a good note. So meet Mr. Grassy Head. Liam made him at school.

Where did HE come from?

2005-05-03T09:46:00.000-04:00

My son...I don't know where he came from, but I don't think it was from me!

Emily's sick, so I decided we're staying home from work/school and going to the doctor's. I let Liam sleep in. How about that little bugger woke up at about 7:45 (the time we're usually walking out the door) and asked why I wasn't in my work uniform. I told him Sissy was sick and we were staying home. He actually started to cry that he wanted to go to school!!

After I got over my shock, I took him there...figured he's better off not hanging out around all the germs at home and this way I won't have to spend the whole doctor's visit trying to look after him.

This is getting out of hand...

2005-05-03T07:27:00.000-04:00

Ok, this blog thing is starting to get a bit out of control. It's to the point now when I am starting to feel guilty when I don't update for a day! I berate myself for not coming up with something to post about. I'm thinking it might be a sickness.

Speaking of sickness, I feel better overall, but my throat is still pretty sore. Is it a bad thing that I suspect it might be something worse than just a sore throat (since strep is going around at my work) but I'm trying to hold out till my day off on Friday before I go to the doctor? Ugh!
**Update: I just went to get Emily up and she can't even talk. Guess I'm staying home and taking us to the doctor today and working Friday to make it up. Double Ugh!

In better news, I ordered some of the new-style MM Foam stamps last night. What a freak I am, all excited to finally see them in stock! If you're looking, I saw them at Gone Scrappin and A Peek Into Yesterday, but the best deal I found was at A Million Little Things ... $8.99 for the stamps and they charge actual shipping too. I ordered the Gabby and Jersey Lowercase sets. Then I was a bad bad baddie and told Marcella about them. While she was ordering them, I realized that I also wanted the Stencil set. (Yeah, yeah, I already have the Lil' Davis stencil stamps, but these are different! The LD is a negative stencil and the MM is positive. Don't be laughin.) So Marcella, being the angel that she is, put a set on her order for me! LOVE her!

Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer

2005-05-01T20:24:00.000-04:00

You guys may wonder from time to time why I talk about my son all the time. Well this kind of thing is exactly the reason why. He's flippin' HILARIOUS, and not just once in a while...daily. Here's the backstory...yesterday he and Dan went to a thrift store and Liam got a new toy. This toy is made for kids a little younger than a 4 year old, but whatever. It plays a bunch of songs like "Old MacDonald" and "On Top of Old Smokey." It also plays "Sailing Sailing, over the bounding main..." Liam has decided that this is the only song worth listening to. He mashes the button repeatedly until "Sailing, Sailing" comes on. He ALSO decided that he MUST dance when this song comes on. It's not an option. And what kind of dance do you dance to sailing songs? Why you put your hands on your hips and sashay back and forth of course. Warning: don't watch this with any kind of drink in your mouth.
Watch here if you dare

PS...2 things. First, sorry this is a little out of focus but I took it quick with the video function of my digital camera. You can still get the gist tho. Secondly, don't be makin' fun of my messy house. I'm too sick to clean.

Dolla dolla bill, y'all

2005-05-01T11:03:00.000-04:00

I have to keep myself in scrap supplies somehow...so it's off to work I go. A couple of quick musings before I take off:

This blog stuff is taking hold. Since my home-away-from-home is kinda dormant right now, I've been learning how to do some cool (cool-to-me, anyway) things here. Watch for something pretty neat in the near future.
I finally got it, and it only took 4 days...guess that's a good barometer of how much I'm loved, eh? "It" is a pm at SG asking why I haven't been posting much. Sad to say, it was easier to just say "Yeah, been busy" rather than go into the whole big thing. Don't get me wrong...no leaving with a hair flip. It just doesn't feel like the same place it used to. I know some of you "get" me.
In coming attractions...(since this is too big a topic to cover adequately right now) we'll ponder why my husband, who speaks only English (and even that not very well), seems to be hooked on Bosnian-language* programs on the local Cable Access channel. "Wayne's World" it ain't, people.

*disclaimer: While I state that these programs are "Bosnian-language", they could in fact be in Serbian. I admit that as an ugly American I would not know the difference.

Hope this post finds everyone well....if you yourself have to work today, I feel your pain. If you don't...I hate you.

I'll show you mine if you show me yours....

2005-04-30T09:44:00.000-04:00

A friend and I did something really weird this morning. We took pics of our messy living rooms and shared them online. The horrors! Before we actually viewed the pics, she was insistant that hers was much more of a sty than mine. Ummm yeah. Not by a long shot. Seriously...if my house was as clean as hers, I wouldn't be feeling like a candidate for Clean Sweep. I guess it's always good to know where you stand on the totem pole...too bad I'm all at the bottom!

How clean is YOUR house?

2005-04-29T22:20:00.000-04:00

I so totally go in spurts when it comes to cleaning. See, the problem is, I feel most like cleaning when I'm at work...around 10:30 or 11 in the morning. I'll sit and think about this or that task at home that needs to be accomplished. Unfortunately, by the time I get home at 5:30 in the afternoon, the urge has left me. I walk in and eye the mess with a resigned sigh. I'm tired, and it's seriously overwhelming. Shall I tackle the sinkful of dirty dishes? Or will it be the living room that looks like a bomb went off in it? Should I try to clean Liam's room? The only floor you can see is a path to his bed, and it's getting to be a narrow path. Or maybe I should get the bathroom done today. I sure as hell can't get all of it done...my full time job unfortunately is OUTSIDE the home. Sad to say, more often than not lately, I've been saying screw it...just screw it all.

In related news, guess what my plans are for tomorrow? If you said "All if the above," give yourself a gold star!

And now for a Public Service Announcement.

2005-04-28T20:50:00.000-04:00

I received the following via email today, and felt that it was too important to keep to myself. Please...the appetite you save by following the advice you receive here may be mine.

Please raise your BIG TOE and repeat after me:
As a member of the Faux Paux Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:
I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, or sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back in to place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it. No matter how much it hurts.
I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.
I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes look like they've been dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look good.
I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
I will promise to go to my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get an even better one.
And finally...I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals...
For all our sakes, please don't keep this to yourself - pass it on to other Sisters.

In Breaking News

2005-04-27T21:29:00.000-04:00

I heart Deirdra.

I need me a new T-shirt

2005-04-27T21:22:00.000-04:00

I need me a new t-shirt and it needs to say "WTFWJD" on it. (James hepped me to that cool lingo, and since I've actually used WWJD sarcastically before, and I also say "WTF" a lot, I don't know why I didn't come up this little nugget myself.) Anyway, I neeeeeed one. Yesterday.

In case you didn't notice, Baroness Munchausen finally figured out how to spell my blog's url today! Way to go, Helmet Head! She posted an anonymous (as in no-balls) comment on the "Cruel" thread. She didn't say which of the synonyms (if any) she understood. Let's all pray.

Gotta say, I'm not especially impressed with my home-away-from-home these days. Sad to say, but it sure isn't the place it used to be. Instead of encouraging newbies, I think they're forcing more and more of the regulars underground. I guess if that's the way they want it, cool for them. They sure aren't the only message board in the sea.

Time for another installment of Weird Things in My House

2005-04-26T19:17:00.000-04:00

Meet Juan and Juanita. Juan and Juanita are sand art pieces that I found at the Salvation Army! I paid $3 for both of them...didn't I get a steal? I absolutely LOVE these...the fact that they are sand art is fawesomely bizarre, and then the colors are so cool. They don't really match much else in the house, but I don't care. They're perfect. They have cheap black frames with no glass...but no touching the sand! Some of it rubbed off once and I had to try to glue it back on! Yikes!

2005-04-26T19:12:00.000-04:00

Juan is so jaunty and cheerful with his sombrero and earrings and orange guitar. I'm not 100% sure what song he's singing, but I think it might be "La Cucaracha."

2005-04-26T19:11:00.000-04:00

Juanita is slightly pensive...not quite as cheery as Juan. She's kinda mysterious and exotic. She has matching earrings and some great fruit. She lives for fruit. She "strives for five" as they say. Please don't make fun of the fact that she only has 3 fingers. She can't help it.

How soon is Spring?

2005-04-25T21:32:00.000-04:00

Ugh! I probably shouldn't complain since my area didn't get snow like a lot of other places, but COME ON! 36 degrees for a HIGH?? I want some warmer weather!

And they say April showers bring May flowers....it's supposed to rain all week long, so we should have a plethora of blooms next month!

Finally, let me just say I have a warm and fuzzy feeling in my heart because my favorite koza and the hardest working mother in showbiz are reunited and it feels so good. Thanks for not letting evil prevail you guys! Yay!!

Dig this

2005-04-24T18:49:00.000-04:00

2005-04-24T18:48:00.000-04:00

Here's Liam at our zoo last summer when he was 3...apparently this was the first time he really noticed this statue and he had to check it out!

On feeling the need to hurt others.

2005-04-24T10:50:00.000-04:00

I am hoping that a certain person will read this.

Dear Needy, helmet-wearing window licker (you know who you are):

I wanted to find a word to describe you and your actions of Friday night. Many words sprang to mind, but I knew that I needed to be careful to find one that you would have a chance of understanding. It was a tough job, so I decided to give you lots of options. You are:

cruel

Part of Speech:
adjective
Definition:
vicious
Synonyms: (check here for a word you might be able to understand, stupid)

atrocious, barbarous, bestial, bitter, bloodthirsty, brutal, brutish, callous, cold-blooded, degenerate, demoniac, depraved, evil, excruciating, ferocious, fierce, flinty, hard, hard-hearted, harsh, hateful, heartless, hellish, implacable, inhuman, inhumane, malevolent, merciless, monstrous, painful, pernicious, poignant, rancorous, relentless, revengeful, ruthless, sadistic, sinful, spiteful, tyrannical, unfeeling, unkind, unnatural, unrelenting, vengeful, vicious, virulent, wicked

I truely hope that you someday get to experience the sorrow you have caused others. Enjoy your miserable existance, and good luck finding another bunch of suckers to believe all your "poor me" stories.

Ummm, yeah....I spoke too soon.

2005-04-23T00:50:00.000-04:00

Bout 5 minutes after I posted here about how fun the board was tonight, all hell broke loose. What a total crock of shit that place can be sometimes. Seriously...some people are just toxic and shouldn't be allowed to interact with others.

What?? FUN?? on a Friday night?!?

2005-04-22T20:09:00.000-04:00

Woah! Used to be, Friday nights the ol' message board was the place to be. Lately? Not so much. But tonight....tonight....it was actually FUN! 6 pages of posts about nothing...inside jokes...name changes....clicks and cliques...

Kind of makes a gal a little misty.

I finally did it!

2005-04-21T18:53:00.000-04:00

Well, I made it through my 8 days of hell...8 days of work with no days off. I'm a little grumpy, but no worse for wear. And now I don't have to go back until Monday, so that's cool.

Tomorrow is Mommy Morning. Liam goes to preschool 8-11, where hopefully he won't make any terroristic threats against anyone. While he's there, I think I'll take myself out to breakfast and then hit Joann's for the 50% off sale. Not that I need anything, mind you, but it's a SALE. In my world, it's mandatory.

Feeling a little blue the past couple of days...not sure if it's just from working so much and being tired, or what, but I could totally see getting into bed and pulling the covers over my head for several days in a row. Dan isn't much help. Dan's going the ostrich route...it has to be obvious that I'm not my usual gregarious self, but I think he figures if he doesn't mention it it doesn't really exist and therefore he doesn't have to be bothered.

Zero Tolerance. ZERO!

2005-04-19T20:12:00.000-04:00

I ask you....does this look like the face of a terrorist? I mean, yeah...a little mischevious, but certainly not The Bad Seed. Brace yourselves. This is gonna be a good one.

Liam attends preschool at a Catholic school...we're not Catholic, but it's a good program. Three days a week, they have preschool classes and the other two days are a little more laid-back. In one of his classes on the laid-back days (Tuesdays and Thursdays) is a little boy who happens to have Down Syndrome. He has an aide with him and I think it's cool he can attend. He has some impulse-control issues, especially with hitting and stuff. And it's hard to explain to Liam "Yes, honey, I'm sorry that "John" (not his real name) stomped on your hand while you were playing...but he's still learning that it's not okay to do that." (And yes, that's a real incident.)

So apparently last Thursday, I don't know if there was a specific incident with John, but apparently Liam approached the aide (not John's aide, the regular class aide) and told her "You know what? When I get to be bigger, I'm going to bring a knife to school and stab John." Ummmm....okay.

When I brought Liam to school today, I was handed a sheet describing the incident and told "This is a documentation, and it will be in Liam's file." The aide handled the whole thing...the regular classroom teacher apparently was not involved. (I'll get to that shortly.) The sheet describes the incident and at the very end states "Liam displayed no remorse." Again....ummm....okay.

I guess a few things struck me...these aren't necessarily in order of importance:
1. Of course I don't want Liam threatening anyone, especially with such harsh terms...but he's 4. He certainly can't understand the permanance or big deal of stabbing someone for real.
2. I am concerned as to why, if this was such a big deal that it will be in his file, I wasn't called on Thursday or told about it on Friday or Monday. (again, more on that shortly)
3. I really HATE that they wrote "showed no remorse" on there!! HE'S FOUR! Many preschoolers are just beginning to develop a sense of empathy for others.

So I mentioned this stuff to the aide and then stopped by the office. The principal wasn't there so I left my number and she called me later at work. The reason it took so long for me to be notified was that the aide told the regular classroom teacher and she acted like it wasn't that big a deal. So the aide then went to the preschool director, who went to the principal. That chain of red tape is why it took me 5 days to be notified that my son may in fact be a menace to society.

Now, the thing is, I'm totally not one of those "My-child-is-a-perfect-angel-and can-do-no-wrong" moms. But is this thing really worth throwing a fit over? Do I bring it up now that it's an eternity ago to him, just so I can refresh it in his memory and maybe have him blurt it out again? At this point, we've had the general "Let's not talk mean to other kids, okay?" talk, but on the other hand, he's not a physically aggressive kid and John does his share of giving Liam the treatment. I asked after school how it went and he said "Well, John hit me in the head because I was holding his favorite doll." Not blaming John, I do understand that he's learning...but if a teacher and two aides (one of them JUST FOR JOHN) can't keep him from hitting my kid, then what am I supposed to do about my kid voicing his concerns (albeit in a distressing way?) I'm about disgusted at this point. Only 1 more month....can he survive without being expelled from preschool?

Soy un perdedor

2005-04-18T20:21:00.000-04:00

I'm a loser baby....so why dont'cha kill me.
Double-barrell buckshot.
Welp, I tried...but the big Super Star contest is over at SG and yours truely is not one of the winners. C'est la vie, right?

Day 5 of 8 in the great work marathon is over....the light at the end of the tunnel is dim, but growing brighter. IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan, IthinkIcan make it to Friday when I'll have a day off.

On the plus side, one of my friends (We'll call her Carmen, not her real name) started a blog....a very FUNNY blog! Can't wait to read more....the first installment had the hubby turning around to glare at me because I was laughing and disturbing his relationship with the tv. Good going, Carmen!

Here's what you miss when you have to work on a nice spring Sunday...

2005-04-17T20:36:00.000-04:00

Kiddos having fun in the park downtown. Stupid financial situation!

2005-04-17T20:35:00.000-04:00

2005-04-17T20:33:00.000-04:00

So glad the weekend's over!

2005-04-17T19:16:00.000-04:00

Oy. Since I missed last Wednesday, I had the pleasure of working my day off on Saturday. Then today was my normally scheduled day to work. So I just got done with Day 4 of an 8 day stretch...come on next Thursday! I'm tired and my house looks like a roadside bomb went off in the living room.

Husbands....what can I say that hasn't already been said at a thousand murder trials before? We live in a ratty apartment and there's CARPET in the kitchen! That's a whole nother rant...but anyway, last night I came home and the kitchen STANK! I asked Dan what the deal was and I swear to God, he told me "Well I was drinking some out of the carton at about 6am and I dropped it and it broke." So apparently not only did he spill milk all over the place he didn't bother to clean it up. I'm pretty sure I could get off on self-defense for this one.

Finally, it figures that I would have to work on what have been the nicest 2 days so far this year. It was beautiful here. Dan and the kids got to go kite flying and bike riding....all kinds of fun stuff. Work sucks!

Don't you just love to look at other people's vacation photos?

2005-04-15T22:07:00.000-04:00

One of the cool things about vacation? You can go fishing in your pajamas and hiking boots. If you want to, anyway.

2005-04-15T22:06:00.000-04:00

I love this picture! It's Liam and Dan, on their way to take a canoe ride this past summer. (We went to upstate NY for vacation)

Happiness is...

2005-04-15T21:45:00.000-04:00

lots of things, but working on Saturday (my only day off this week) isn't one of them. Stupid viruses! Stupid low immune systems! Since Liam was sick and I had to miss time this week, I am working tomorrow to try to make up some hours. If it was just the prospect of one short paycheck, I'd say fuggit, but my place of employment has benefits rules that are harder to understand than the federal tax laws. Basically, if my 4-week average hours falls below 38 hours, I'll have to pay about $70 more for health insurance. Then, if my 12-week average hours is below 38, I won't get paid for Memorial Day. So...the prospect of being screwed not once but three times for missing a day this week is just too much to bear. I have no choice. You can feel bad for me if you want.

Now, if that's not enough, we went out to dinner tonight and when we came out of the restaurant I had a flat tire. I inflated it with my handy-dandy mini air compressor and made it to WalMart about 2 miles away. It was 7:40 when we walked in, and the first thing the nice burly mechanic man said was "WE CAN'T FIT YOU IN TONIGHT!" Well....since the Tire and Lube Express is open till 8, I was bummed but I understood. I tried to explain the situation and that's when the good part rolled around. He then said "Do you know any place else you can go?" "Um, NO, DO YOU??" I said. "Since you don't want my business so much that no only can you not fix it but you're actually encouraging me to go elsewhere, where do you recommend I go?" He looked at me like I had two heads. Then he pointed me in the direction of the Fix-A-Flat. Stupid T L E!

Pete?

2005-04-14T23:35:00.000-04:00

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

What the hell is wrong with people?!?

2005-04-14T23:08:00.000-04:00

Brace yourself. It's a rant. A biggun.

My daughter, as previously mentioned is 11 and in 5th grade. Her bedtime on school nights is 9:00. I would also assume that most other parents would also understand the need for a child of this age to get a good night's sleep.

But apparently, I've made an ass out of u and me...because someone in her class just called my house asking to speak with her! I said "Uh, no...it's almost 11:00 and she's in bed! And don't call here this late anymore!" I should also have asked her why she herself was not in bed, and did her mother know she was calling people.

Now, if I was my grandfather, this is the part where I'd go on for a few minutes about how this country's going to hell in a handbasket, and these kids today...but I'll leave it to your imagination.

Let me just say...unless you're calling for one of the grownups, phone priveleges end at 8:30.

Yo Pete! Callin' you out, man!

2005-04-14T22:55:00.000-04:00

I tried to be nice and not name names...but you're pushing it now! ;-)

(But thanks for saying it's funny. You know I live for your approval.)

"And I would have gotten away with it, too....if it weren't for you meddling kids!"

2005-04-14T19:18:00.000-04:00

UPDATE! I've unmasked "Anonymous," he of the snarky Andy Warhol comment. As I suspected all along, it was a so-called friend at work. He's one funny guy...can you tell?

In case you didn't notice, I live in the wilds of Northwest PA. Not too warm here by the lake....currently 51 F. Spring proper never starts till mid-April, and it won't be really warm until June. LATE June. So naturally, logic dictates that my son's preschool hold its "3rd Annual Luau Party" tomorrow. "Have the kids wear shorts, sandals, etc! It's a beach party." Umm yeah...great idea when we leave at 7:45 and it'll be about 40 degrees outside. I guess I'll be the uber-mom and dress him properly and bring his party attire along for him to change into there.

Another thing that may have slipped under the radar: I freely admit to having two kids in my profile, yet I've only gushed about the one. Perhaps if I explain a little bit, you'll understand. Liam's all cute and easy and makes me laugh multiple times each day. Emily, on the other hand, is 11. She's also a girl. You'd think that since we have our gender in common, that might work for us. Unfortunately...the opposite seems to be true. I spend so much time butting heads with that girl, I swear I feel like a mountain goat. Don't get me wrong...I love her, cause I'm her mom. And she does have some redeeming qualities. It's just that the redeeming qualities are kind of buried in a big pile of attitude most of the time. I'm hopeful that the attitude will diminish and we'll have this great mother-daughter relationship someday soon...like when she turns 18.

A new semi-regular feature: Weird Things in my House

2005-04-13T21:56:00.000-04:00

Ok, most of you don't know Dan and I personally, but if you even know us a little bit, you know that we both have very weird tastes in certain things, especially home decor. We are totally into the flea market look...and not in that Rachel Ashwell (is that her name?) cutesy floral "Shabby Chic" sort of way. No, in the 50s-60s-70s kitschy sort of way. If we organized it better and carried the theme through fully, it would probably be cuter than it is right now. But the way we have the place decorated right now, there's just enough of a weird/modern mix to be completly trailer park and therefore uncool. But I digress. Here's my plan. Every "however-often-I-feel-like-it", I will take a pic or two of something weird we have collected and display proudly. Some of them might even make you laugh, like tonight's feature:

BOBBLEHEAD MOOSE.

Bobblehead Moose was acquired this past summer when we visited the Adirondacks of upstate New York for vacation. I used to keep him in the back window of my car, so he could nod at people, but alas....the horns make him sort of top heavy. He falls over easily. So now, he smiles down on me from atop my computer hutch.

Just so you know, I'm no Andy Warhol.

2005-04-13T20:00:00.000-04:00

Sorry to burst any bubbles but I didn't want to set up any false hopes for anyone.

I got a snarky comment on one of my earlier posts, telling me that I should sit down (well, DUH, who stands up to type, Einstein?) and that I'm no Andy Warhol. I couldn't figure out this reference for a while (color me muddy) but then it struck me...I've got that silly little photo collage down at the bottom. Lotsa work on that one...copied a pic 9 times and hit "reverse colors" on 8 of them in MS Paint. Crushing blow to the ego to find that I'm not on the cutting edge of the pop art scene and won't be featured at the Whitney anytime soon.

So I was justateensybit miffed when I read that...but then, I do allow anonymous comments. You pays your money, you takes your chances as they say. I also have the option to delete any and all comments...but I decided not to do that. I think I shall keep it prominently featured, to remind myself and others that there are always crabs below you in the barrel. They'll always try to grab you with that big claw and yank you down. No newsflash there.

And if I'm guessing correctly, whomever posted that was just breezing through and made him or herself feel a tad better by posting something mean to prove their own coolness. If he or she would like to come back at any time, the door's always open. Watch you don't trip over the rake.

"Woman with Rake"--the story behind the story.

2005-04-13T10:28:00.000-04:00

When I was in college (late 80s-early 90s) I really liked grunge music. There weren't any good radio stations to listen to in my area, and this was before XM and the like. Record Stores didn't really sell "records" any more, but they sold cassettes! So I was a regular at the local record store. They would get a lot stuff from the seminal Seattle grunge/punk label Sub Pop, and being that I didn't really know any of the bands, I would buy these compliations they had. One of them was called Afternoon Delight: Love Songs from Sub pop. This compilation was so awesome....great tunes. So my roomies and I are hanging in the living room. We all suffered from pretty bad glaucoma at the time, so we were "taking our medicine." (And yeah, if you don't know what that means, I'm not 'splainin.) So we're hanging out, and these tunes are playing from the other room. And all of a sudden, through the insane laughter, we hear this horrible croaking voice say THIS CLOUDED HEART, WHERE THE RAIN BEGINS AND THE TRAFFIC DIES . We were instantly hooked. It was Steven Jesse Bernstein, a Seattle spoken word artist/poet/icon. I didn't know it at the time, but he was already dead. He'd killed himself with 3 stab wounds to his own neck.

So anyway, I was blown away by this one piece of his, and eventually found his album which was a collection of spoken word pieces set to music. And on the inside of this cd liner was a sentence that really struck me: "If you dare condemn my life, it will come after you with a sharpened rake."

Flash foward 12 years and I'm now a wife and mom of two...old and frumpy. I even scrapbook (gasp!). And on the message board I live at, I used this quote as my sig line. The cool kids "got" it, and eventually, someone decided that I should definitely have a rake for my avatar. The resident Google Queen, Furry, hooked me up with this cool painting: I eventually found that this painting was created by David Palmer...totally cool art at his site. Wish I could afford a real one! (he's been added to my links section, definitely worth checking out.)

I heart Advil

2005-04-12T20:52:00.000-04:00

Look at him.....if you don't stare at the green snot coming out of his nose, he looks pretty darn good, doesn't he??

2005-04-12T20:51:00.000-04:00

Go, Fight, Win!

Does it make me a bad mom if...

2005-04-12T19:19:00.000-04:00

I get online to update my blog about Liam being sick while he's laying on the couch sick? Yeah, I thought so.

I got called today at work at about 11 am to come pick him up. The preschool teacher said she knew something was wrong at about 9:15, because instead of playing some rowdy game with the other boys, he actually went to the reading corner and sat quietly on a pillow with a book! That's so not Liam. So she called at 11 and he had a slight fever and cough and sore throat. Poor guy is pretty hot right now (about 102 F before Advil). Looks like Mom has herself an unplanned, unpaid day off work tomorrow.

In happier news, I did get a nice visit from the UPS man today. What can Brown do for me? Well, bring me lots of cool scrappy supplies, for starters. I have a ton of new paper (um yeah...my order slip was 4 sheets long) and some cool new letter stickers. I can scrap the pictures I took of Liam laying on the couch! Yeah! That's the ticket!

2005-04-12T19:08:00.000-04:00

Poor little guy :-(

Same as it ever was

2005-04-11T22:44:00.001-04:00

Ok. Now that I sit here trying to think of witty things to say, it occurs to me that my life isn't that interesting. I get up, I drag the kids out of bed, I take them to school and me to work. I stay there for 8 hours...and then I pick the kids up and go home. It blows my mind that a producer hasn't called yet asking to buy the film rights.

I did go take my son to get his hair cut today. He's four, and brings new meaning to the word "individual". He marches to the beat of a whole different drum circle. Seriously. He's been on this kick since Christmas, where he thinks he needs to wear a vest and tie every day. It doesn't matter if the vest and tie match his outfit...hell, it doesn't even matter if the vest and tie match each other. What makes it even more classic is that he rarely wears a shirt with a collar. So he's in a long sleeved pullover shirt...with a vest and a tie. Sometimes the tie is a clip-on. A more recent addition to his fashion rule book is that jeans or any tailored pants are not to be worn. "Soft Pants," as he calls them, all the way. So picture it....sweatpants, long sleeved pull over shirt (tucked in, of course) vest, and tie. He's convinced that he looks handsome. And obviously, I'm one of those cool moms who lets her kid express himself. Also, color me wise enough to know which battles are the ones worth fighting on a daily basis. Brushing your teeth is not an option....I'll hold you down and do it for you if I have to. You wanna wear a green fleece vest with a christmas tree embroidered on it along with that brown paisley tie? Knock yourself out.

So I took him to get his hair cut. He's not the freakout type...in general anyway. But today, he kept yelling at the lady to watch out that she didn't snip his tie when she was giving him his trim. Every time she moved towards the back of his head, he'd yell out "WATCH OUT FOR MY TIE! DON'T CUT IT!" Of course, in between laughing at him, I offered to take his tie off and hold it for him. Silly Mom...."If you take my tie off, no one will see that I'm handsome." I tried to use logic and explain that no one could see the tie anyway, being as it was covered with the hair cut smock. Ummm yeah. He wasn't buying it. I'm hoping the tip kind of made up for it.

2005-04-11T22:44:00.000-04:00

OK, there's no tie in this one, but you get the idea.

ugh....it's almost Monday.

2005-04-10T23:02:00.000-04:00

Sigh. I really hate Sunday nights. The reason? I'm dreading Monday morning. Don't get me wrong, as far as having to work goes, it's not much worse than any other job and probably a lot better than some. I just don't wanna go! I want to stay home with my kids and bake cookies and have teas. Well, ok, so I probably wouldn't bake much, and I only drink tea when I'm really sick...and yes, both the kids go to school. But I still want to stay home.On the plus side, I work with a lot of real looneys...I'm thinking I might have some really blogtastic material when I get online tomorrow night. I'll be sure to keep notes.

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

You can call off the prayer dogs for our erstwhile friend "Chris". It has come to light that dear Chris was outside raking in a Speedo...while still wearing black socks. Imagine: blinding the neighborhood with the spectacle of his fish-belly white body. For this transgression, I say Chris deserves every blister he gets. (And no, Chris, I don't care to know exactly where the blister was sustained.)

It's gonna take a lot of prayer.

2005-04-10T15:50:00.000-04:00

The husband of an online friend (We'll call him Chris, not his real name) reports that he was outside raking today and has acquired a hideous, disfiguring BLISTER. I know, it's hard to comprehend how a loving God can allow such things to happen. But instead of railing about the WHY, let's just focus on making it better. If you're connected to any kind of prayer chain or online community, let's lift him up, ok?

Poor poor baby.

Sunday?? Don'tcha mean FUNday?

2005-04-10T11:45:00.000-04:00

So it's Sunday...and you know what that means: Laundry. Pile upon stinky pile. A week's worth from 4 people. It's bigger than a mole hill, yet not quite a mountain. It will take all day to conquer.

In the 40 minute intervals I have between trips to the basement to switch loads, I should try to accomplish something today. The scrapbook area's a mess...I have projects that need to be completed...the attic is a disaster and really needs to be organized...I should tote a bunch of clothes and toys off to Goodwill. But instead, my butt is glued to the chair in front of my computer.

And now that breakfast is over, Liam has decided he wants some scrambled eggs after all.

A hot Saturday night when you're 34....

2005-04-10T04:08:00.000-04:00

is so incredibly different from a hot Saturday night when you're 21. My evening consisted of the following:

Pure bliss: I got to take a nap. Alone. Uninterrupted. Without getting a rude awakening. On brand new bedding.
Hot and Fresh: When I woke up, Dan had a pot of coffee brewed. It's a proven fact that coffee tastes better when you don't have to make it yourself.
A fix: I'm one of those scrapbook people. If you aren't involved in scrapbooking, you really have no idea how strong the pull is to get your hands on the hot new products. Unless maybe you've been addicted to meth or something, then you might get it. So anyway, tonight, one of the sites out there had some fabulous sales. A Good Mail Day is in my near future. God bless Carrie at http://www.mississippipaperarts.com
New Rules: Bill Maher was on. Love his show.
More clean bedding: the 4 year old just woke up because he had an accident in his bed. But there were clean sheets available...and hubby did the work!

Does life get any better? Probably. Not that I don't have a lot of little things to be thankful for.

It's all about the bandwagon, baby!

2005-04-09T19:56:00.000-04:00

So I admit it...while I would love to be an "early adapter", someone who grabs the latest and greatest technology while it's still hot...I'm just not. I'm a product of my upbringing. I can remember being a little freaked out when I first started college and found that they were no longer updating the paper card catalog because it was all on computer.

So a couple of years ago, when I first got online, I heard of blogs. "Wow, neat....I guess," I thought. I didn't really understand what someone would see in my mental ramblings.

But now, the all-powerful Blog is where it's at. EVERYONE who's anyone has one...and I want one too! So here it is. A collection of all things meaningless. I'll dish about the stupid things that happen to me at work, at home, and elsewhere in my travels. (Although in all fairness to you, don't have too many expectations for the elsewhere part. I'm pretty much at work or at home. But I did score some cool bedding at Target today.)

Thanks for reading, if anyone's out there...stay tuned for more.

Amy

2005-04-09T17:09:00.000-04:00

It's me. Spicy Hot, don'tcha know.